Work, Work. Yes, Master.

Work is slow today. Techs aren't doing much until later tonight and by then I'll be home. I finished my little projects for the day and I'm on my lunch break now. I brought my food from the Taphouse Grill that I went to last night with Jason and Josh. It was a smart idea seeing as I didn't have to leave to get food and I didn't have to spend money to buy food. Frugal Sarah over here, starting to think Sandra is rubbing off on me.

This apartment is going to be my number one focus. Numero uno. I'm looking at apartments right now, actually. Jason mentioned to me that I could move to NC with him. Live in the den... it's a thought. But it would mean that I would have to leave my school, my job, my brother, and my best buddy. And if I left I'm sure me and Da'Vi wouldn't last too long. He doesn't come off as the long distance relationship kind of guy. Even so, I think moving that far would an even bigger strain on my life. Not something I feel like I need right now.

So the other day, at lunch, my dad said that this is supposed to be my year. I wasn't exactly sure what he meant by that but it made me think. I'm starting to see that this is my year. This is the year when I'm going to have to sink or swim.

I'm leaving home at some point in the first half of this year. I'm getting out on my own. I have a full time job now, we'll see how long this lasts. I have my own car now and I'm paying my own bills. I'm applying to a real university (UIC) and this is the year that I am going to either prove that I can handle it... and I can shovel my way out of all the shit that will be put in front of me or I can't handle it and I'll go crawling back to my mother. I'm going to make it or break it. I do wonder though, if I don't make it... who is going to be by my side to help me out of the mess I put myself in.

I remember going through some hard times when I was younger. I remember thinking that I would never have money and I would be stuck in debt forever. I thought I would always be sad or angry and that I'd be stuck in my situation until I died. A bit melodramatic, ay? Teenagers. What are you gonna do. Looking past my dramatics though I can see that I have always found a way. When all I have a is a penny to my name, I make that penny into a dime somehow. And make that dime into dollar. And make that dollar into my car payment. I'm resourceful, to an extent.

Instead of relying on being resourceful. I want to rely on thinking ahead. Anyone can change. If you have enough drive.. enough resolve.. than anyone can change. I'm relying on my resources to get me OUT of my house. But, I am relying on myself for KEEPING me out of my house.

Only time will tell how my little story will pan out. The one thing I always remember though... is that I am the author and publisher of this story. The pen is in my hand not anyone elses. And we all know... the pen is mighter than any sword. Time to start writing my masterpiece.